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Many years ago, my company was called in to deliver a coach training program for a corporate client. Their Vision Statement for the program was “To transform our leadership culture and to be on the leading edge of enabling our employees to truly live their personal and professional values.” Profound, is the perfect word for this vision, ‘Courageous’ is another.

Fifteen leaders were selected to pilot the initiative for this massive organization. These leaders were ready (or so I thought) to accept new belief systems, new direction, and a new life. They completed so many profiles on leadership that I think they thought that they were signing up to be an astronaut. Ha! But armed with this great data, their CLI Instructors were in a good, offensive position.

Each leader received numerous 1-2-1 coaching sessions with a Senior Coach in which they privately aired their dirty laundry. You know the kind of thing: “I think our leader is a moron”, “My staff are all losers”, “If I was the CEO, I’d fire everyone in the company”, and the biggest winner was “I wish everyone was more like me. Then, we’d get a lot more done around here.” Uh huh! Mind-Kinetics® Coaching works from the inside out to turn egotistical wonders into people without horns. At last, these leaders were ready to come together as a group to learn how to be compassionate Coaches for their own staff members and colleagues.

On the morning of the first workshop day, Steve put his hand up. He said, “Betska, we’ve been through every conceivable leadership and team building program available to man. Plus, we’ve been through another coach training program. None of them has worked. And I’m telling you that if this one doesn’t work, I’m outta here.”

Fair enough. Steve was really speaking on behalf of the consciousness of the entire group of 15 leaders. They were fed up with the poor results from previous coaching and leadership training programs. I asked the group to give these new scientific methodologies a chance. “They always work,” I said. On a conscious level, I knew they were thinking “Yeah, right.”

What the group was really questioning was their own ability to help others transform permanently. That’s okay. My middle name is “Patience”. Mind-Kinetics always works. It never fails because it is so precisely designed to create a shift in the subconscious mind.

On the morning of the second day, the group worked in pairs to practice “Conversational Coaching with Mind-Kinetics®”—one of the jewels in the line-up. The magic from the results they were achieving must have been felt for miles around. Two hours later, Steve put up his hand and said, “Well, Betska, I eat my words. This stuff really works.” And no, I didn’t say “I told you so.” 🙂

In this case study, the team worked diligently through their Learning and Development Plan filled with leadership core competencies they had yet to master.

It was wonderful to watch these so-called hard-nosed leaders opening their hearts to “leading self-first”. Now, here is something I have never publicly shared. That first day when Steve gave me his ultimatum, I felt attacked. I was bruised because at some level I felt they didn’t trust, or respect me, or my development of the Science of Mind-Kinetics. That evening I went to my hotel room with a shattered heart.

I spent a few hours meditating on it to lift that negativity, and then I used Mind-Kinetics on myself so that I could go back into that classroom with the most self-love, confidence, and self-respect that I could muster. And it worked. You see, if I had not believed in myself, if I had not believed in Mind-Kinetics, these senior leaders would have smelled my fear and the program would have been disastrous.

I gave myself a ton of self-love so that the next day I could stand in front of that audience and be strong. I happened to deliver this on Valentine’s Day, but regardless of what day you read this, I am sure that you are going to do something special for yourself and or someone special in your life, be they a partner, a child, a mother, a father, a friend, or a colleague, because the best gift we can give to ourselves and others is to wake up every morning with a genuine smile on our faces that comes from a high level of:

1.      Self-Love

2.      Self-Respect

3.      Self-Confident and

4.      Faith in ourselves.

You see, without those four values, we appear weak to others and can often be a burden to them. With a heart wide open and filled full of Self-Love, people love being around us.

There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” ~ Nelson Mandela

I agree, Mr. Mandela. We should never settle for a life that is less than the one we are capable of living. When we are filled full of Self-Love and Love for others, we are at the top of human capability. This is a great gift to give ourselves… and I’ll continue working on it!

Betska K-Burr 

AMC, Co-President, Head of R&D & Training
Coaching and Leadership International Inc.
betska@coachingandleadership.com
+1 250 652-5390 – Work
www.coachingandleadership.com