Sometimes forgiveness, no matter how we know is going to benefit us, is easier said than done. There’s always that struggle between holding on or letting go, waiting or taking the first step, and accepting or denying.
You may be asking, HOW CAN I FORGIVE?
Here’s an article and video blog from Leadership Coach, Alyssa Nobriga:
Anything you have not forgiven will hold you back. And, not just in your business or relationships…! in ALL areas of your life. “If I forgive, I’m basically saying what they did is okay.” Or… “If I forgive, I’m allowing history to repeat itself.” Most people think, “If I forgive or accept, I’m weak.”
The truth is, what you’re describing is a BEHAVIOR. And behaviour and forgiveness are 2 separate things. You can forgive someone and still not put up with their sh*t.
Forgiveness frees YOU, not the other person.
It opens you up to learn and heal from mistakes so you can move forward in a happier and more productive way.
If you got triggered by family over the holidays, here’s something you can try…
1️. Understand that you can’t change another person… so stop trying. Instead, the power is within YOU. And what a relief, right? Now you can change it instead of waiting for someone else to change. But you have to be honest. Ask yourself, “How did I participate in creating this?”
2️. This is a process that I often use and I learned where I worked on faculty at the University of Santa Monica.
Repeat after me…
“I forgive myself for judging __ [INSERT WHAT YOU NEED TO FORGIVE] __ as ___ [INSERT YOUR JUDGEMENT] ___. The truth is, ___ [INSERT YOUR TRUTH] ___.
Ex: “I forgive myself for judging my Mom as critical. The truth is, I’m critical of her when I think she’s criticizing me.”
As one person in the dynamic changes, not only does your experience change but the dynamic between you and the other changes, too. Be willing to lead the way if you want to heal and change.
I hope this serves you,